Step Children

[lespaulgb]

Does anyone else on here have any? If so, I'd like to know about how you deal with them and any experiences you may have.

[cajun]

None as of yet. I am rather curious as well. What is appropriate is on a case by case basis I am sure. If anyone has tips I am here to read on them too!

[TwoEllasDad]

My ex-wife had a daughter from a previous relationship that I helped raise. I am a stepchild to my father's wife and was a stepchild to my mother's two ex husbands.

My advise is from the beginning let them know that you are not trying to replace their father.

Let them know from the beginning, what you expect of them.

[lespaulgb]

They know I'm not their father; although they occasionally call me 'dad' it's more because they currently view most adult males as a father. Rather than push the issue I have said they may call me by my real name; whatever is comfortable for them.

[Seamus]

I have said they may call me by my real name

But isn't your real name, 'Viscount Leighton Buzzard, Dark Lord of Bedfordshire', is a bit long for children to remember?

[lespaulgb]

Originally Posted by Seamus

But isn't your real name, 'Viscount Leighton Buzzard, Dark Lord of Bedfordshire', is a bit long for children to remember?

I have kindly decreed that they may call me Mr Grumpy or Sir Turn The Guitar Amp Down.

[tiggertlc]

I have a stepson. He's 12 and I've been around for about half his life.

I think the most important thing in dealing with kids is to treat them as equally as possible and present a united front.

My daughter & my stepson have hugely different personalities. If we didn't work together to parent the same and back each other up, there would be a lot of discord in the house.

My stepson's other family (with his biomom and her husband and her husband's two kids) is very conflict ridden (based on what we hear second hand from him) because both parents treat the other's kids differently. As an example, there was a time his biomom was at our house, with my stepson & his stepsister, and his mom said, in front of her stepdaughter "everything we do is what's best for [son's name]. He's what's most important." We were just like ... uh, did you really say that in front of your stepdaughter? wow... okay.

Communciation is the big thing. You two as parents need to present a united front. You need to communicate so you both feel like all the kids are being treated fairly. It can be tough.